Jewish-American widower Rob Mor explores post-October 7 Israeli grief in a new documentary, Echoes of Loss: Eight Days in Israel.

While we see Gaza from a distance from Sderot, at no point do we witness any graphic violence.

Mor had previously uploaded the 72-minute documentary back in May but pulled the film in hopes of increasing film festival play. The film just held a one-off screening in the Chicago suburbs on Wednesday evening. To give you an idea of how quickly the post-production process took place, Rob took his trip to Israel in early April–a few weeks after my own trip in March–and uploaded the film on May 14. My own experiences from interviewing editors of narrative features is that they tend to have a rough assembly cut ready within a week of production. One would imagine post-production for documentaries would take longer especially with having to sort through hours of footage. My cap is off to Rob and his team for finishing the film rather quickly after returning from Israel!

Six months after October 7, Rob Mor leaves the Los Angeles area to visit Israel. For the filmmaker, it is a chance to heals after losing his wife, Noel, to ovarian cancer in 2019. He encounters widows, parents, and family members of October 7th victims. The small world that the Jewish community is, I already knew of one person because we’re in the same Facebook group. Anyway, Rob’s own personal grief is what allows him to connect with his interviewees in a way that might not be possible for another filmmaker. At the same time, I cannot even begin to imagine what he or the families or going through.

Waking up on Day 5 and not being able to stand, Rob pushes through with his day. After going through his morning routine, his producer texts him to inquire if he’d be interested in interview other people than widows. To which he replied, “Yeah, sure.” This is how he came face to face in conversation with Hannah Katsman, the mother of Hayim Katsman. Hayim, a peace activist, died during the Holit Massacre on October 7. Rob surrenders to process and goes with it. He has “no way of relating” to Hannah because he “can’t quite understand the complexities of losing a child. Rob notes that widowers can remarry and fall in love again but “a mother who loses a child can never replace that child.” He even recognizes how his in-laws’ pain, grief, and anguish over losing Noel is “entirely different” than his own.

The Katsmans moved to Israel in 1990. Hayim made “inroads into Israeli society and had influence.” She visited Holit with her daughter for the first time about six months after Hayim’s death. Hannah finds that talking about it helps along with finding ways to keep busy. Taking items from his apartment gave her a small sense of joy. Months later, it is still unreal. “How do you come to terms with something like that? It’s–I can’t really. I just–it’s shocking to think of it–that someone so young and vibrant was killed.”

In subsequent narration, Rob mentions that he almost keeled over during the interview and had flashbacks to Kfar Aza.

Towards the end of his trip, Rob makes a visit to the OneFamily headquarters, allowing to meet parents of widows or widowers. A few of them talk about their experiences. One of them even tries to arrange a shidduch for Rob!

It’s not an understatement to say that both Jews and Israelis across the world have experienced quite a year. One year later, we are still grieving. Even living in the diaspora, Jewish-Americans share in this grief. However, some families are still waiting for a body to bury–many of which are still in Gaza. Even for those who know their loved ones are dead, the process of Shiva and Shloshim cannot start until after burying the bodies. This is all the more reason why it is so important to bring the hostages home from Gaza.

Most of the October 7 documentaries tend to focus on the Nova Musical Festival or sexual violence. What sets this film apart from those is Rob exploring the grief of families who lost children or other family members on October 7. You can’t help but feel for them. It’s impossible to reach out through the TV screen on the press screener but I wanted to hug everyone. These people have been through so much already. I feel for Manny and Sigal Manzuri, who lost both of their daughters, Roya and Norelle, during the attack on the Nova Festival. Imagine being on a Zoom with President Joe Biden, sitting shiva for one daughter and then learning that you have to sit shiva for the other one. No family should have to go through this.

“Imagine being held hostage underground for months,” Rob says. “Imagine being caged, raped, brutally harassed, beaten, and then used to reinforce the message of your captors.”

In attending one of the Bring Them Home Now rallies in Jerusalem, Rob leaves feeling shaken. People have so much pain. There is no trust in the government. Even though Israelis are resilient people, they are still angry, anxious, and could not believe that it’s already been six months–obviously, this was filmed six months ago as we just marked one year.

Depending on who you talk with, eight days in Israel can be a long trip or not short enough. What amazes me is how Rob is able to get so much accomplished in a little amount of time. He meets with representatives of OneFamily, Bring Them Home Now (Hostages and Missing Families Forum), and the IDF Widows and Orphans Organization. His producer will often text him to ask if he can meet with someone for an interview. One such interview is shortly before Shabbos. We also get to take in Hostages Square and go behind the scenes–at the time, they had some 20,000 volunteers. Hostages Square started two days after the attack when families started camping out in the square due to its closeness to the IDF headquarters. It is heartbreaking. As Eitan Teiger comments, “When we say the Jewish people is one big family, it is literal.”

Even though there might not be graphic violence, it doesn’t make the film any less heartbreaking. Families share stories about their loved ones. Even as I write this, Sigal Manzuri recently spoke of being afraid that people will forget her daughters. Let this film be a legacy to ensure that we should never forget the victims of terrorism. The people in this documentary are not the only ones who are grieving–there are plenty more stories to tell so that we remember them and never forget.

Echoes of Loss: Eight Days in Israel is as much Rob Mor’s diary of his experiences as it is an opportunity to allow viewers to understand how Israelis are experiencing grief in a post-October 7 world. It is Rob’s hope that people will understand a little bit more about what is going on.

DIRECTOR/SCREENWRITER: Rob Mor
FEATURING: Rob Mor, Chantal Bezlberg, Yael Shevach, Shlomi Nahumson, Sima Golima, Chani Shlomo, Hannah Katsman, Eliot Young, Eitan Teiger, Manny & Sigal Manzuri, Eyal & Yael Noga, Mindee Lewinger

Echoes of Loss is currently playing the film festival circuit. Grade: 4/5

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