
Paul Reubens opens up like never before in Pee-wee as Himself, a two-part documentary tracing the man behind the bowtie and the cultural legacy he left behind.
Told through extensive interviews—including an audio message recorded just one day before his death—Pee-wee as Himself offers a deeply personal look at Paul Reubens’ life and legacy. Determined to set the record straight, Reubens reflects on his artistic journey—from his early days in circus-rich Sarasota to his time at CalArts and The Groundlings, where he first brought Pee-wee Herman to life. For decades, he maintained a strict boundary between performer and persona, choosing to let Pee-wee exist as a standalone figure in the public eye.
Pee-wee as Himself draws from an extraordinary archive: over 40 hours of interviews conducted before Reubens’ death from cancer in 2023, a thousand hours of archival footage, and tens of thousands of personal photographs. It chronicles his meteoric rise through the 1980s with Pee-wee’s Big Adventure and Pee-wee’s Playhouse, his fall from grace after a highly publicized arrest in 1991, and his later resurgence. Through it all, Reubens remained committed to his vision of performance as both art and escape.
Reubens is forthright, even combative at times with Pee-wee as Himself director Matt Wolf, as he revisits the highs and lows of his career and the toll of living behind a character. With commentary from collaborators and cultural peers, the film captures a complex, funny, and fiercely private man who shaped generations through subversive humor and singular imagination. Ultimately, it stands as a heartfelt tribute to Reubens and the timeless charm of Pee-wee Herman.
Pee-wee as Himself first premiered at the 2025 Sundance Film Festival, where it made headlines for a major revelation: Paul Reubens came out as gay during one of his final interviews. Of course, he jokingly tries retracting his comments. For a time, he was out of the closet, before going right back in. After an early breakup, Reubens decided to not enter a future relationship, knowing that being gay could hurt his career. Interestingly enough, his sister, Abby Rubenfeld, recalls a Halloween where Paul dressed as a princess and she dressed as a lumberjack. Anyway, his parents were supportive when he came out to them.
But what surprised me even more was learning that Pee-wee as Himself director Matt Wolf had been filming with Reubens up until sometime prior to his death. HBO had announced the project—already in production—back in March 2021. What neither the filmmakers nor the public knew at the time was that Reubens had quietly been battling both myelogenous leukemia and metastatic lung cancer for six years before his passing at age 70.
While the first part mostly focuses on Reubens’ childhood and early career, it makes no mention of his cameo in The Blues Brothers. I get it—he’s not exactly known for a character he played for only a few minutes. The only film that really gets any focus at all during the first 100 minutes of Pee-wee as Himself is Pee-wee’s Big Adventure. But again, would any of us even be familiar with Reubens’ work if not for Pee-wee Herman?

And yet, there’s an alternate reality where Reubens might’ve become famous for a very different character: Jay Longtoe, a Native American lounge singer he portrayed on The Gong Show in the late 1970s, wearing sequined loincloth and feathered headdress. It was a different era, and comedy standards were far less scrutinized. Reubens reflects on the experience decades later in with blunt honesty:
“This doesn’t say much for the audience, but the audience ate it up and went crazy. So I was like, Hey, I’m getting laughs.”
He also adds:
“I had no clue it was like a billion percent—not even borderline racist—I mean, it was full-on racist. Until Pee-wee Herman came along, I thought that was my ticket. I thought I would be propelled to stardom as a Native American lounge singer. Thank G-d that wasn’t the case.”
Reubens ultimately went all-in on Pee-wee after being passed over by Saturday Night Live following an audition. That rejection became a turning point.
The second part of Pee-wee as Himself focuses on Reubens’ Emmy-winning Saturday morning series, Pee-wee’s Playhouse. As a children’s TV host, he had to reinvent the wheel—but in doing so, he created a show that celebrated diversity, creativity, and nonconformity. We hear from several of the creatives and cast involved with the series. Phil Hartman, a longtime friend and collaborator, was part of the original cast but left after joining SNL, which eventually led to an estrangement between the two. It wasn’t until after Pee-wee’s Playhouse ended that Reubens faced legal trouble for the first time. Though he managed to bounce back, his life—and public image—would never fully return to what it had been.
Reubens rebuilt his career gradually, appearing in films and television series like Mystery Men. A Broadway revival of his stage show reignited interest in the character, eventually leading Judd Apatow to collaborate with him on Pee-wee’s Big Holiday, which premiered at SXSW in 2016 and later debuted on Netflix. Even after a second arrest arguably threatened to undo his legacy, Reubens refused to let it define him. While he’s credited as an executive producer on Pee-wee as Himself, he didn’t have creative control over the final cut. Director Matt Wolf includes audio recordings of their conversations—some of which reveal a combative Reubens pushing back on how his story is being told.
When it comes to his post-arrest comeback, Reubens largely steps out of the narrative. Instead, Pee-wee as Himself turns to friends and collaborators to fill in the gaps. A title card reveals that he stopped participating after a year of filming, having delayed a final interview that would have addressed the arrests more directly. It’s hard not to wonder whether he was avoiding painful memories—or simply no longer felt well enough to face them. The final audio message, recorded just a day before he died, reveals a voice that sounds markedly different from his earlier interviews. It’s a haunting reminder of how much he had endured behind the scenes, and a final glimpse at the man beyond the bowtie.
DIRECTOR: Matt Wolf
FEATURING: Paul Reubens, Abby Rubenfeld, Gary Panter, Wayne White, Lynne Stewart, John Moody, Alison Mork, Natasha Lyonne, S. Epatha Merkerson, Laurence Fishburne, Debi Mazar, David Arquette, Laraine Newman, Cassandra Peterson, Tim Burton, Judd Apatow
HBO aired Pee-Wee as Himself on May 23, 2025. The two-part documentary is streaming on HBO Max. Grade: 4/5
Please subscribe to Solzy on Buttondown and visit Dugout Dirt.





